


Shocking the Shocked Shieldmaiden

by BuzzCat



Series: 30 Day Cheesy Tropes And Rare Pairs Challenge [22]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Fluff, Multi, Online Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 20:36:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8938210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BuzzCat/pseuds/BuzzCat
Summary: After months of flirting online, Darcy finally agrees to meet her beau. Of course, the last thing she expects is for her beau to be two people, and for those people to be Tony Stark and Pepper Potts.





	

Darcy set her coffee down as she started spinning in her office chair. Jane was absorbed in running her data and didn’t want Darcy far in case something happened, which is why she was trapped in a ‘lab’ in the middle of a semi-decimated London. Luckily, the internet connection was good and Darcy was able to log in while her boss was busy.

Darcy had always been skeptical of dating sites. For every guy who seemed worth her time, there were at least ten who were the equivalent of frat boys sending her messages to the tune of ‘show me your b00bies!!!!1!’ But when Jane had given her a subscription for her birthday (just after Thor landed and Jane had been desperate to meddle in someone’s love life since her own had hauled butt across the Rainbow Bridge), Darcy had decided that if nothing else, it was a way to pass the time. And it had worked out alright, even with the fratboys. Cute pics of her in the bathtub had paid for a great many Starbucks gift certificates. Darcy loved Snapchat every time she got a venti for free.

When Darcy logged in, she was glad to see that FE.Fire was online. FE.Fire had been one of her favorite contacts from when she first logged in. At first, the guy had seemed a little shallow, but the more they talked, the more Darcy loved talking to him. They probably would have met up, were it not for the fact that Darcy was in London and he was in New York. He’d offered to fly her in multiple times, but between Thor and Jane’s research and more spaceships and then the debacle with Ian, there really hadn’t been a convenient time. She opened a dialog box and typed.

ShockingShieldmaiden: Hey :)  
**FE.Fire: Long time no message. How are you with all the alien fights?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: I’m safe. My boss had a close call, but we’re okay. Lost my intern though.  
**FE.Fire: My condolences on the intern. Do you need help calling his family?**  
ShockingShieldmaiden: No! Intern didn’t die.

Darcy didn’t know where to go from there. Over the last months, she and FE.Fire had gotten a little flirty. How did she explain away Ian? Darcy sighed and went for it. Honesty being good and all that.

ShockingShieldmaiden: I kissed him in a ‘yay we’re alive!’ moment and it got weird. He quit.

FE.Fire took a while to get back, but when he did, Darcy laughed,

 **FE.Fire: So too much tongue?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: You know how in the movies, the guy always sweeps the girl into his arms and dips her in a super dramatic kiss?  
**FE.Fire: Yeah?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: I dipped him.  
**FE.Fire: XD lol  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: And then I dropped him.  
**FE.Fire: Yeah, I can see where that might get awkward.**

Darcy nodded to herself as she read the message. She bit her lip. She and Jane were moving to New York soon. Pepper Potts—Pepper MOTHERFUCKING Potts—had offered Jane a position with Stark Industries and where Jane went, so did Darcy. She would be in New York. FE.Fire would be in New York. If she wanted to, she could meet him. They’d at least be in the same state. Darcy had thought about it since she learned about the move and the more she thought about it, the more she wanted to meet him. FE.Fire seemed pretty chill. Darcy took another sip of coffee to fortify herself and typed.

ShockingShieldmaiden: So get this: I’ll be in New York in a couple weeks. My boss got offered a position and we’re moving.  
**FE.Fire: Wow! Congratulations on the job!  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: So I was thinking, if you wanted, we could get together sometime once I’m there.

Darcy bit her lip as she waited, but the response was almost instantaneous,

 **FE.Fire: That sounds wonderful! When do you get into town?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: The 18th.  
**FE.Fire: Okay. How does that Saturday work for you?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: I’m free.  
**FE.Fire: Excellent. How does Gramercy Tavern sound? We can meet for lunch. The reservation will be under Tony Iommi.  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: Black Sabbath pseudonyms? Really?  
**FE.Fire: Hey, it’s how I roll. Will I see you there?  
** ShockingShieldmaiden: Absolutely. One o’clock?  
**FE.Fire: Perfect.**

_FE.Fire has logged out._

Darcy leaned back in her chair, letting a slow exhale out as she absorbed what just happened. She was going to meet FE.Fire, the guy she’d been kinda flirting with for months. They were having lunch in a couple weeks. Darcy thumped her head against her desk and groaned. Fuck.

 

Between packing and moving her stuff and helping Jane get all of her duct-tape contraptions out of her mom’s apartment, Darcy managed to distract herself from the date. Somewhere, she scraped together enough time to Google ‘Gramercy Tavern’. It was a classy restaurant, the kind that probably had a sign requiring a dinner jacket. Darcy had been hoping that it was some sort of dive of a diner, but no such luck. FE.Fire apparently had style and money. The next thing Darcy knew, she was standing outside of the restaurant in a beautiful blue dress and feeling that she may as well have worn overalls for how well she was going to fit in. Darcy took a deep breath and readjusted her purse around her shoulder, reaching in and feeling her taser. She highly doubted that she’d have to tase FE.Fire, but it was better safe than sorry. She pushed the door open and the maître d’ smiled at her. Darcy stepped forward,

“I’m looking for the reservation for Tony Iommi.”

“Of course, miss. The rest of your party is already here. Please, follow me.” Darcy followed closely, conscious of her heels and trying not to slip and make an idiot of herself. The maître d’ led her to a back corner, what was probably the most secluded table in the restaurant. The two people there smiled and Darcy felt her stomach drop. There had to be a mix-up.

Tony Stark and Pepper Potts sat at the table.

Darcy couldn’t stop staring. Pepper Potts held out a hand,

“ShockingShieldmaiden, I presume?”

“Darcy. Darcy Lewis.” she said, barely recovering enough presence of mind to introduce herself. Tony Stark snorted,

“I think we broke her, Pep.”

“That would certainly be a shame. If you’re uncomfortable here Darcy, there’s a wonderful burger joint down the street. We were just thinking with discretion in mind. If you’d rather—“

“No, this is, this is good.” said Darcy, trying to sit down without making a total idiot of herself. She swallowed some of her shock, “So who is FE.Fire?”

“We both are,” said Pepper, “Is that alright? I understand if you need a second to absorb.”

“Oh, it’s cool.” It really wasn’t cool yet because she hadn’t really processed it yet, but Darcy was pushing that to a corner to be contemplated/freaked out about later, “Um, where did you guys get the username?”

“FE is the periodic symbol for iron.” said Tony Stark, “and Pep has a thing with fire.”

The maître d’ brought Darcy a water glass, which she gratefully sipped from. She set it back down and realized that directness was probably the best way to handle this. From the numerous interviews she’d watched, Pepper Potts appreciated directness and she had a feeling Stark’s attention span didn’t allow for much else. She carefully set her water down,

“So did you guys invite me as a friendly buddy hang out, or is this a date?”

“It’s whatever you’re comfortable with.” said Tony Stark, which surprised Darcy. She’d expected Pepper Potts to say that. Pepper nodded to agree with Tony. Darcy fiddled with the hem of her dress,

“And if I decided this was a friendly buddy hang out…”

“Then we hang out, eat food, and see if we can all be friends.” said Pepper with a smile. Darcy nodded,

“And if I want this to be a, a date…”

“Then we hang out, eat food, and eventually do kissing and romantic-y stuff.” said Tony. Darcy nodded again. She’d suspected as much. This was Pepper Potts and Tony Stark, so being friends by itself would be fucking amazing. Pepper Potts had always been a force to be reckoned with; Darcy had watched enough sexist interviewers to know that Pepper had fangs, which made her Darcy’s kind of person. Tony Stark was, well, Tony Stark. She’d always known that she’d be down to go drinking with Tony Stark.

As she thought through it as fast as possible, an image sprang to mind. The three of them in bed, Pepper’s face glowing and flushed with pleasure, hair fanned out on a pillow in a bright halo. Tony’s calloused hands on both of them, pinching and caressing Pepper’s breasts and the other hand fisted tightly in Darcy’s hair. And Darcy, her lips wrapped around Tony’s cock and her hands busy in Pepper, fingering her and teasing her clit. Just the idea made Darcy flush bright red and look down. She wanted that. She wanted it really badly, and not just because it had been a while. Darcy looked up, smiling shyly at the couple,

“I think it want this to be a date.”

Pepper smiled and Tony rubbed his hands together, saying,

“I knew it. We’re gonna have so much fun.”

**Author's Note:**

> As someone with no online dating experience, it's entirely possible I got a couple details wrong. Apologies, I am ignorant in these ways.


End file.
